How I started to overcome my impostor syndrome

Us creatives know all too well the feeling of impostor syndrome. That feeling that you don’t really know what you’re doing and any minute now someone is going to ask you to leave the party. I think sometimes it comes from comparing ourselves to others, or comparing ourselves now to where we want to be. We haven’t met our goals yet, the self doubt creeps in and we question if we’re good enough.

I went through a bit of a dry spell after my illustration degree and there were definitely struggles getting back into it.

During my dark days when I’d lost my creative mojo I turned to YouTube for inspiration. I then discovered the channels of too amazing women who were sharing their life as illustrators online. Those women were Fran Meneses aka Frannerd, and Holly Exley. I suddenly felt hope that here were some real people talking about their process, their success and their struggles. Even though I was a lurker in those days and didn’t comment I still felt a connection and I think Fran and Holly become like my spirit guides on my own illustration journey.

I’m going to be drawing portraits of my fav YouTubers and sharing what they’ve taught me.

Starting with Fran; one of the things I’ve always loved about her channel is the advice she gives. I love this piece of advice (from her video How to start as an illustrator) because it gave me the permission to call myself an illustrator rather than an aspiring illustrator or wannabe illustrator.

“If you want to be an illustrator and you don’t know where to start. You might just say. Hi. I am an illustrator. And that’s it. You kind of started being one.”

It reminded me that if you make art you’re an artist. If you write you’re a writer. If you play music you’re a musician, if you illustrate, you’re an illustrator.

Fran goes on to give some really helpful practical advice in the video too; but this piece of advice really stuck with me and gives me the confidence to know I do belong and I am good enough.

You can watch Fran’s video below and if you don’t already follow her go check out her YouTube channel here.

Stay tuned for more YouTube portraits coming soon, including my portrait of Holly Exley.

Starting YouTube

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been learning some new skills, getting to grips with Adobe Premiere, filming and editing because…I’ve started a YouTube channel! In fact, so far I’ve uploaded three videos.

I’ve been following other creatives on YouTube for a few years, in a bit of a lurky way. In fact when I was going through a dry spell with my art, it really helped inspire me to see what others in the field were up to, seeing their artistic process and snippets from their life.

I decided I wanted to give it a shot. If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen that I’ve been testing talking to the camera for a while on Instagram stories. This felt like a safe way of filming myself, as stories generally feel a bit more informal. You don’t have to worry about editing, they only last 15 seconds, and they disappear in 24 hours.

Still it felt a bit unnatural when I set up to record my first video. At the moment my set up is just my iphone and a small tripod. I tried my best to look at the camera and not the screen, which I think I managed for most of it. I did a few takes and managed to edit it into something I’m pretty proud of.

I decided to do a timelapse of one of my drawings for my #30illustratedphotos project. I’ve always loved looking through old family photographs. There’s something so magical about photos, how they capture a moment in time. You can relive moments from your childhood, or imagine what your ancestors were like. The photo I drew in the video is of my Grandma on her first day of school. I love seeing photos of my relatives at different ages and doing things that I can relate to.

I hope you enjoy my first video. I’m going to aim to post a new video every 2 weeks, so subscribe to follow my illustration journey!

Lastly, I just wanted to say, if you’re thinking about starting YouTube, or some other “scary” project, go for it! Too many of us (me included) feel like we have to wait for everything to be perfect, and then we never start.